Things that suck:
-daylight savings
-people not returning your phone calls
-having a fever for the past 3 days
-being sick when it's actually sunny and WARM in Wisconsin
-Duke not winning the NCAA Championship
-having to experience the joys of being a woman while you're sick

Have I mentioned I hate being sick? Well, I do.

I used to think that the only way I would feel like I had a purpose in my life is if I became a doctor. I don't know why I thought becoming a doctor would make me feel like I am contributing to society. Perhaps it's because growing up, EVERYONE made being a physician sound like a dream job. Now I'm realizing, not so dreamy. Moreover, I think there are a lot of other jobs out there that are very meaningful and probably would make me feel like I'm serving an even greater purpose.

I'm actually nervous that I won't get this volunteer position. I don't know why I care about this. I don't know why I chose THAT organization. It was the group that I wanted my $100 donation last year at work to go to. And even though it probably would be one of the most DEPRESSING, upsetting and hardest jobs I will ever experience I think I'm up for the challenge. What's more, I think I have a lot to offer to the job. Call me crazy (I probably am) but I'm actually excited about this more than anything else going on in my life just because I have a REALLY good feel about it. Probably not the best thing to have a good feeling about but this one...I just do. Sad to say, but I can see myself wanting to stay in this state if this thing works out well just because I feel THAT strongly about it. More so than anything else right now, when it comes to WISCONSIN. Ugh...

I should go to bed. My body is definitely not happy with me.
night.

I feel like crap. I think waking up sick is quite possible one of the worst feelings in the world. It sucks because you wake up from a night of quiet, restful sleep and the first thing you feel is soreness in your throat or a splitting headache. I hate being sick.

Do you know what else sucks? When you realize that you think more highly of a person than they think of you. Seriously. I've come to realize that I've been more thoughtful, caring and considerate towards certain people than I probably ever should have. People are so unappreciative, thoughtless and inconsiderate these days. I can think of at least three examples of people in my life who claimed to be genuine but in the end, they were more or less just using my generosity. How did people become so selfish? Even though my three examples are all males, I can think of a number of females who suffer from the same arrogance and selfishness. How do people live like that? I mean, don't you start to grow a conscience, a heart and learn some manners at some point in your life? Perhaps these people are all still trying to figure out how to grow up and be mature about things.

In any how, as much as I want to change and become mean and spiteful I don't think I have it in me. No wait...I think I do. But I don't want to add to the misery in the world and if anything, I want to make sure I move forward instead of backwards.

I hate being sick. Did I mention that already? Well, I do. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday.

blog later.
me.