all i wish is that people would understand that sometimes, it takes longer than 2.25 years to heal a broken heart and to learn to trust someone again.

back from the doctor.

diagnosis....... don't know.

there's nothing wrong with my shoulder or the rotator cuff. the doctor thinks it's a muscle in my back. i told him everything, about the MRI, the physical therapy and he agreed with me that at some point, the soreness and aching feeling SHOULD go away. but it hasn't.

so! he referred me to a specialist.

fabulous. as if this day couldn't end on a happier note.....

it was a rough night last night.

let's recap:
- dreamt i was feuding with my ex's frat
- dreamt that i drowned and then got rescued by a boat but was stuck on said boat with dying Taiwanese people
- dreamt my condo was leaking and then some alien thing popped out of my bed and went down my hallway screaming for help
- dreamt that i had dinner with friends and my friend's wedding invitation was a Dominick's ad.

i have no idea how much sleep i actually got because i kept waking up from the dreams. i don't know which was worst- the feud or drowning.

i seriously hope i make it through this year.

let's hope i still have a shoulder after tomorrow. *sigh* i'm succumbing to the pain and seeing the doctor. one can only take so much ibuprofen before one develops an ulcer...

so i bombed my therapeautics exam. big surprise. honestly, i think i was suffering from holiday depression. NO JOKE. totally lacked motivation and I just wasn't the same person I was throughout fall quarter. but the old, workaholic me is slowly returning. Perhaps she went on hibernate for the winter but it's a new year and granted it's still winter, but i'm ready to turn this crappy quarter around.

second year, winter quarter - never my strong suit.

i'm going to do a lil studying tonight. really, i am. and! i'm going to be SUPER productive tomorrow. minimal shopping because i'm piss poor and need to pay my mortgage and assessments. *sigh*

all right, i've babbled enough. wish me luck tomorrow at the doc's.

blog later.
me.