These last two days have been REALLY good. I don't know why. Maybe there is a God after all...

The last two nights have been the best two nights of sleep I've had ever since I got to Madison. I think I'm starting to get used to my bed, the apartment and Madison in general. While the shopping still sucks, I have outlet malls to conquer in the future so it can't be all that bad right? Not only that, but I've realized that food here is just CHEAP. It's crazy but true. Milk is only $2 here! And that's for the GOOD stuff!

I've decided that I need a vacation or to get away. From the Midwest. Debating where to go though. Next weekend appears to be the BEST weekend for me to leave to go somewhere but I don't know where to go. Training is going to be brutal after next week so I want to take advantage of the weekend. Decisions decisions...

It's supposed to rain on Friday. I'm excited. It's been SUPER hot.

Did I mention my appetite is back? Unfortunately, I still get a lil nauseous after I eat something but so far, I've been puke-free. I think I'm going to hold off though on eating some rich food. Tomorrow is probably going to be another toast day. At least for one meal.

Okay, I'm pooped even though I haven't done much this week. Thank goodness it's Wednesday.... only 2 more days until the weekend!

blog later.
me

Normally, I wouldn't be so brutally honest and open. But it's been one long, painful, and hard summer. I don't even know where to begin. Everyone said that after graduation, there was so much to look forward to. The world, a new life, adulthood, etc. And it seems like ever since graduation, everything around me has started to fall apart- including my faith.

I never thought I'd be tested this way. You always want to believe that no matter what, you can always have hope about something. And even though it's never been proved, you want to believe that somewhere there is a God who listens to people's prayers and who watches over us all. But lately, when do the tests stop? When do I have to stop proving how strong I can be, emotionally and physically, how courageous I need to be.

I'm tired of being strong and I'm tired of having hope. I know there are people who are worst out there than me, you don't need to tell me or remind me. But sometimes I just wonder, what was all the praying and wishing for? Because it wasn't this. This isn't fair anymore. It just isn't.

If I've learned anything, it's trust nobody.

Why do people think it's okay to tell someone they love you and then take it back two days later? Who does that kind of thing!? You would think that before you say "I love you" to someone, you're pretty sure of how you feel. Otherwise, why say it at all? I don't get it. I don't get why people (i.e HZ) think they have the right to play with people's feelings and emotions. Such a fricking prick... seriously. Who the hell does that kind of crap to someone they "claim" they love?"

I wish I never met someone right now. I wish I was a lot smarter.