Long, tiring but good weekend. On Saturday, I got to have Harold's and stuffed spinich pizza from Gioradano's. It was wonderful. Unfortunately, I barely got to eat dinner because someone wanted me to get up and dance to the Wiggles. I quote, "schtep up, schtep up." *sigh* Saturday was an interesting night. But it was good. I'm so impressed that I got someone to go to sleep before 10 PM! Granted, it took an hour to get him to lie down and relax but hey! I did it, all by myself (okay, the drugs helped a little bit.)

The next three weeks are going to be EXCRUCIATING. Every waking moment, I'm thinking about the possibility of moving back to Chicago. I would love it if I were back in Chicago by next spring. It would be an absolute dream come true at this point. I'm convinced though that if I keep thinking about it and wanting it so bad, it's not going to happen. But I figure at this point, I've done all that I can do.

It's frustrating to think how the past 2 years have gone. There are moments I want to scream, cry and pull my hair out because I'm so disappointed and frustrated with myself. Every day I wake up and I like to believe that I'm competent, smart and an overall good person. I want to believe that all the hours I slaved away in the library, all the energy and effort I put into planning events, making lunches, running to meetings has paid off. But lately...I don't know what it is. I'm starting to wonder if I wasted all this time and effort for nothing. Because honestly, how much do I have to show for it right now?

Saturday was good though. I needed the distraction. It's nice to know that someone had fun with me. I had fun too. Perhaps we bonded. ha ha! I still hear the words "Mama bed, Mama bed, I walk, I walk" in my head and I can't help but smile. I'm glad his parents benefited from the distraction too.

Three more weeks...maybe I should shift all my energy and focus to my birthday. I already bought my birthday gift to myself. I'm horrible. Although I guess in a few weeks I will have all of Friends to keep me busy until Dec.1. My goodness I'm doomed. I think I've jinxed myself by wanting this so bad. Gosh, there are so many things I could have done better...so many but what can you do?

all right, I need to go veg out some more.

blog later.
me.