so i'm feeling a little better now after ordering a friend's birthday gift.

i wrote a letter to my former piano teacher tonight. my mom told me yesterday that she has cancer. my heart kind of sank when she told me because a family friend who also took piano with my teacher told me a few months ago that our former teacher was asking about me and wanted me to contact her. i feel so bad that it's taken cancer to get me to contact her.

what do you send/give to a person with cancer? i decided i'm going to send her a picture from my piano recital my senior year. it's a picture of her with me and her other students that attended my recital. the picture is 10 years old but i don't think i ever gave a copy to her and i'm hoping it will make her smile.

when i was looking for the picture, i came across some other pictures from high school. gosh! i was so skinny. i kind of miss being that thin. but i'm not going to complain. i think i'm at a much better place now in my life than where i was in high school. there are still times though when all of this is pretty surreal to me. i mean, i can't believe i have my own place, i'm in professional school, i have an amazing internship and i have a job where i actually think i'm pretty good at what i do. not to mention, i have a semi-functional relationship with my parents and pretty cool relationship with my siblings.

anyhow! i still can't believe that someone i used to spend SO much time with is now so sick. she totally believed in me too. i mean, she totally saw something in me back then that i never saw myself. and i hate knowing the reality of cancer. i hate knowing what's to come.

call me crazy, but i really am hoping for a miracle.