i think my conscience is finally forgiving me.

last night i dreamt about him... again. this time though, i didn't dream about the two of us being together or him taking me back and saying he forgave me for all the horrible things i did. this time, i dreamt i stumbled upon his wedding webpage online and read his "how we met" story with his fiancee. i can even remember where they met (it was china, he was there on a trip) and her name was "hilary."

you probably think i'm crazy, that my subconscience would go so far and dream all of this but when i woke up this morning from my dream, part of me was sad and part of me was relieved.

the fact that i HAD this dream, to me, is extreme progress. honestly, for the longest time i was wondering if my subconscience would ever forgive me and i think last night, it finally did. i don't know what brought it on but lemme tell you, after 5 years of having the SAME dream, it was nice for a change.

it was another long day and my allergies are in overdrive. looking forward to the weekend but not my therapeutics exam on monday. if ever i needed a prayer answer, it would be for monday afternoon.

anyhow. i think i can now officially say, i'm over him now.