I used to think that the only way I would feel like I had a purpose in my life is if I became a doctor. I don't know why I thought becoming a doctor would make me feel like I am contributing to society. Perhaps it's because growing up, EVERYONE made being a physician sound like a dream job. Now I'm realizing, not so dreamy. Moreover, I think there are a lot of other jobs out there that are very meaningful and probably would make me feel like I'm serving an even greater purpose.

I'm actually nervous that I won't get this volunteer position. I don't know why I care about this. I don't know why I chose THAT organization. It was the group that I wanted my $100 donation last year at work to go to. And even though it probably would be one of the most DEPRESSING, upsetting and hardest jobs I will ever experience I think I'm up for the challenge. What's more, I think I have a lot to offer to the job. Call me crazy (I probably am) but I'm actually excited about this more than anything else going on in my life just because I have a REALLY good feel about it. Probably not the best thing to have a good feeling about but this one...I just do. Sad to say, but I can see myself wanting to stay in this state if this thing works out well just because I feel THAT strongly about it. More so than anything else right now, when it comes to WISCONSIN. Ugh...

I should go to bed. My body is definitely not happy with me.
night.