Normally, I wouldn't be so brutally honest and open. But it's been one long, painful, and hard summer. I don't even know where to begin. Everyone said that after graduation, there was so much to look forward to. The world, a new life, adulthood, etc. And it seems like ever since graduation, everything around me has started to fall apart- including my faith.

I never thought I'd be tested this way. You always want to believe that no matter what, you can always have hope about something. And even though it's never been proved, you want to believe that somewhere there is a God who listens to people's prayers and who watches over us all. But lately, when do the tests stop? When do I have to stop proving how strong I can be, emotionally and physically, how courageous I need to be.

I'm tired of being strong and I'm tired of having hope. I know there are people who are worst out there than me, you don't need to tell me or remind me. But sometimes I just wonder, what was all the praying and wishing for? Because it wasn't this. This isn't fair anymore. It just isn't.

If I've learned anything, it's trust nobody.