What I'm thinking right now....

- My poor Quincy (i.e. Camry) is getting beat up! He got hit in the parking lot at work the other night.
- I'm never getting a new car so long as I keep this job.
- I wish my stuff would magically go into boxes on its own.
- Why are guys such boneheads some times?
- I feel like I'm spending so much more money now that I actually make money.
- I wish I had a normal work schedule sometimes.
- I wish I wasn't working another stretch of 10 days straight.
- I can't wait until next weekend.
- I don't know if I'll get another workout in this week.
- I miss my friends.
- My nephews are getting amazingly cute.
- I want a vacation.
- To go to the reception or not?
- I wonder if Eddie Bauer really will give me a new backpack.
- Someone needs to start studying for his boards.
- Three of my exes are getting married this year.
- I don't remember the last time I was in Hyde Park.
- I don't remember the last time I actually saw my parents.
- I work too much.

i passed!!

you can now consider me any of the following:
- legalized drug dealer
- overpaid cashier
- human pill counter
- pill monkey
- pharmacist.

oh! and cold is gone too. yay!

i am hoping and praying that tomorrow will be the last of it and i will never have to study for these exams again.

Well, I haven't been doing much studying today anyway. Stupid f-ing head cold. I don't understand how I got sick to begin with but seriously, after I took part I of license exam torture, i came home and had the worst headache EVER. Come yesterday morning and I felt like absolute crap (apparently to my parents, I looked that way too.)

So today, I've been doing nothing except shopping, procrastinating on fb and briefly reviewed my law notes. Am I screwed for tomorrow morning? Perhaps. Do I care? Not really. Normally, my neurotic self would be freaking out about not passing but this f-ing cold is sucking the life out of me. I don't even think I can think straight without some sudafed and motrin. (Mind you in IL, you can only purchase 7.5 g in a 30 day period. Gotta love the meth makers out there for that one...)

in any case, today i was thinking about two boys. one, now has facial hair, the other, does not. mustache-less boy wants me to change certain aspects of how i look. at first, i thought he was crazy and frankly, i was quite insulted. and as i discussed his "requests" with my friends, they were just as disgusted as i initially was. but then i started to think about mustached boy and how he was cool with how i looked/dressed, but not so cool with some other things. things that were important to me like honesty.

so now i'm starting to think in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter if someone wants to change the way you look but they don't want to change anything about you as a person? i don't know, i think other boys in my life have committed far worst crimes and my friends weren't jumping to persecute them.

i don't know. i'm all perplexed. i think this cold is doing things to my brain.

in any case, i'm off to fake-nap some more.

blog later.

boards are in 3 days and i have done no studying today. all i've done is watch trashy reality tv.

i am screwed.

i am so stressed that i can cry when i stop to let my mind think. i dream the craziest things and wake up every morning wondering how i'm going to get through the next week.

i need a friend. i need a hug. i need something.

i hope i make it through the next week.

i am stressed. it sucks.

i'm starting to miss aspects of my former life. for instance, i miss having that have someone i can call on at any time of the day for anything. i miss knowing that he will listen to me vent, cry and scream because he knows it makes me feel better. i miss having that friend in my life that i can always count on.

if there's one thing i've always hated about dating it's that when you break up, you tend to lose a best friend. at least that's been the case for me.

i could use a best friend right now. a best friend on call for the next month would be ideal. but i don't think that's going to happen any time soon.

at least i still have shopping.

so i graduated. for a while, graduation seemed like a dream but it happened. i still can't believe it happened. the day itself was very surreal. note to self though: give yourself more than 15 mins when getting ready for graduation.

so now i'm doing nothing. it's quite nice. just returned from what will likely be my last trip for a while. went to nyc with friends. very interesting. and now, it's time to suck it up and start studying for the boards. i am not looking forward to these exams. yuck.

i'm not really sure what i'm writing. part of me wonders if a certain person still checks this blog now and then to figure out what's going on with me. it hit me a few weeks ago though it's been 4 years. sometimes i wonder if i'll throw myself into work like that again. i can see it happening. it was good though. exhausting, but good in a way. i think i just needed to shut things out like that for 4 years. i'd say i'm pretty healed. well, i'd like to believe i am.

but now it's time to face life and learn to trust again. i hate that. i hate having to trust again and be vulnerable. but i guess you can't get anywhere if you don't.

all right, time to get ready. need to run errands and going to see two of the cutest people in this world!!

blog later.
me.

it's my last week of pharmacy school EVER. i'm excited but also nervous about what's to come. boards are in the back of my mind but so are so many other things.

i can't stop thinking about how 2010 is turning out. there have already been two new blessings in my life and i know there are more to come. but then i also think about people i care about and the losses and hardship they've had to endure already this year.

i feel kind of guilty that i'm in such a happy place. it doesn't seem right. i shouldn't have it this easy i think but then i also feel like i do deserve it. after all, 2003-04 was NOT my year.

but i am happy. i have no complaints.

thanks for everything.