So, I'm better now...I think. 49 days and counting...

I get it now. I think I'm coming to terms with it. There are two people in my life thus far who at the time we were together I thought was "the one." Seriously, I thought they were who I was going to spend the rest of my life with. When it was good, it was absolutely amazing. I can't really describe what it was like and how they made me feel. But then things started to unravel and fall apart. And along the way, everyone got hurt. Well, now I realize that the reason it's been so hard to get over everything is not because I love them still or I think they are the perfect person, rather I think it's been so hard to get over the relationship because the result is that I lost a great friend. And I miss my friends but there's nothing that can be done to bring back the friendship.

Tonight I also realized that I wasn't wrong for feeling the way I did. Sometimes I wonder how educated people, how people you think are your friends, can be so short sighted and insensitive. I don't feel so bad about this weekend now. I was doing a good thing and in the end, my actions were not in vain.

Things are starting to come back into my mind. I'm starting to remember why I did what I did at certain points in my life. It hurts to remember what people said to me, how insensitive, thoughtless and immature people were and are. But I'm not going to let it bother me anymore. Well, at least I'm going to try and not let it bother me.

I have great friends now. I have great people in my life. I have a wonderful family and I have a new beginning waiting for me. 49 days and counting...

blog later.
me.