In two weeks, I will be another year older. Whether or not I'm a year wiser I think is still in question.

Yesterday night was the reunion. He wasn't there, happily. Seriously--I did pray that he wouldn't be there. I didn't want to see him. Rather, I don't want to see him. I wish I was a lot smarter back then. Thinking back to some of the things that we said...Don't get me wrong, he wasn't a complete jerk but some of the things that he said... just makes you wonder if there was ever anything real between us. In any case, it's over and the two of us have moved on. I hope he's doing well...actually, I hope he realizes what a jerk he was. Is it like a rite of passage thing that all girls have to get screwed over at some point in their lives by their ex-boyfriend?

Back to the whole reunion thing. It's a good idea, I guess, but at the same time it's like high school all over again. I definitely have a greater appreciation for the friends in my life. I mean, for the ones that I stayed in touch with and for the ones that I met in college. I don't have any regrets about not keeping in touch with certain people over the years and quite frankly, I think it might have been one of the best decisions I ever made. I like being distanced. I like where I'm going now.

I can't believe in a little over a month, it will be a new year. I'm anxiously waiting. This year didn't really turn out the way I wishe it would have. I'm not sure what it is, but I guess I was hoping certain things would turn out one way and well, they didn't. This year definitely hasn't been as rough as last year but it still was hard. I'm just waiting for a day where I can feel like there is nothing on me. No pressure, no worries that I can feel at ease. Lately, I feel like that day isn't going to happen until a very long time.

I've realized a few things from the whole "reunion" experience. One, I'm glad I didn't have to see someone. Two, some people haven't changed a bit. Three, I'm rather happy where I went to school. Four, I need to be with someone who respects me. And last but not least, fresh starts are a neccesity. I think second chances will always be doomed if you don't start from a clean slate.

I need to get ready though. Going to have dinner with the family and of course, get to see my favorite person. Definitely looking forward to this dinner-I think I need it.

blog later.
me.