i...am...so...tired.

i'm so tired i want to cry.

today has been a horrible day. i seriously wanted to just start crying in the middle of class today because i was utterly exhausted and so frustrated with the day. weather was shitty, i was late to my class that's taught by the dean of students and i'm scrambling to plan a company outing. it's just been a horrible day all together and i wish i could crawl into a hole and hide forever but i can't because today was only the first day of school and i've got 9 more months to trudge through.

i hate being this tired. i have feeling tired. i hate being so tired i can't think. and when i can't think, i start to get stupid. ugh.

i'm not doubting myself but there are days where i wonder if i'll be able to pull it all off. have my cake and eat it too. i think i'm making the right decisions but then there are moments where i just question myself. i hate not being able to trust my own judgment. i used to be so sure of myself and the decisions i was making but now, i question everything.

so tired.